First Week Rush

It's the first week of classes here at UC Davis.

OK, that's not completely true. It's the first week where classes can meet, but classes only started Thursday.

The week is more commonly known as Welcome Week, or Week 0. This is the first week freshman are on campus. As a result, walking around there are groups EVERYWHERE that want to give you stuff and tell you about their awesome organization. Even more fun is that since I'm asian I don't look as old as I am, so I've been approached by some people who thought I was a freshman. I guess I just don't have the downtrodden grad student stride just yet and have too much optimistic naive bounce to my step.

Highlights of the week included meeting a lot of really cool people. We had a meet-up after one event to play board games, except we only played BANG! For those who don't know what BANG! is, it is a card game in the vein of mafia, but set in a spaghetti western where everyone is shooting everyone, but miraculously you might dodge the bullets, and indians might arrive from the hills trying to hurt everyone. I also had a really revealing discussion with a Muslim student who originally grew up Catholic and then converted. She had some very interesting views and some very thoughtful questions that I will have to research a bit. Friday was The Buzz which is a generic free-for-all of goodies and bands, and stuff to do in the Quad. We got free henna. Apparently my ability to make curvy lines is a natural gift or something. I thought my job looked like crap compared to what others were doing.

Perhaps the most fun is that I have to decide which course to take this quarter. I am doing research and am a TA again. However, I wanted to throw in a class to keep myself on my toes a bit. So, I get to decide between Error Correcting Codes (ECC), Operating Systems (OS), and iPad development. ECC is all about how we make sure wireless transmissions work and are not corrupted, a really useful skill since wireless applications are a booming industry. OS deals with understanding how something like Windows or Linux works, which would be really helpful to understand for programming. iPad development just sounds cool. But I am probably not going into Apple development. Then again, I have a few fun friends in that class that I wouldn't mind working with. That's not to say I don't have friends in the other classes. My housemate is taking ECC, and I know several students in OS as well. At the end of the day, the "safest" route would be to take ECC, sit in on OS, and watch from afar iPad. Then again, who said taking the safe path was the best choice in life.

Overall, life has gotten really interesting these last few weeks. We'll see how well I survive this quarter. God willing.

Inceptionauts+BIG BANG

Psychonauts + Inception Trailer = AMAZING!!!

Minor potential spoilers involved from the game, but I recommend you watch it anyways.

You should probably play Psychonauts. The last level is painful, but if you stick with it the ending is sooooo good.

Also, OMG THESE GUYS ARE EPIC. Stop motion of amazing.

Yeah, I have nothing interesting to say this week.

Dear Diary 09/12/10

Dear Diary,

Here's what I did today:

• I didn't sleep well. Weird dreams about trying to find a place to sleep for the year, Bishop and Kwang and a bunch of Mudders were involved. The suite was a weird twisted version of an Atwood suite, except with a built-in kitchen. I blame stress, playing Alien Swarm too late at night, and the fact that the air conditioner got turned off so I was hot.
• Woke up early to help run A/V at church.
• Totally ate it on my bike while crossing an intersection. Bruised my shin, scraped my knee (was wearing pants), and wounded my pride in front of the one car on the streets at 7:30am on a Sunday.
• Ran A/V for the three services. A few times I totally botched it, other times I just fired the slide too soon. Or perhaps that's just my OCD kicking in.
• Helped break down the stage. We're getting new curtains for the stage to help the acoustics and to modernize the look.
• Headed home for lunch.
• Turned in my availability for A/V for the next two months so my manager can schedule us.
• Won a game of League of Legends. Yay Taric.
• Met up with rides to head to a planning event for Catalyst.
• Learned about the nuances of girls' swimwear, including mixing and matching and bringing extra sets depending on what's going on.
• Discussed how to make people feel welcome. Making an effort to connect with people and make new friends was a huge theme. Also, avoid cliques and gushing/catching up with friends from last year.
• Used a drill press to widen holes in hinges.
• Drilled holes to help make those wooden poster thingies. I think Matt called them sandwich boards since they sit outside delis mentioning the special sandwiches. Except those have chalk boards on them, we just painted these.
• Got eaten alive by bugs while painting the boards.
• Got a ride home.
• Setup a new "Limited" list of people I know on Facebook. That way I can stay "Facebook Friends" with them, but they can't see my status updates, pictures, and other stuff. Credit to Sara for the idea.
• Finally resolved the sounds card issue I've had for the last week by turning off the sound card and switching to the integrated chip on my motherboard. I should pull out the card to save energy.
• Showered.
• Wrote this entry.

Overall, not bad.

Still haven't figured out that problem I had for research when I left on Friday.

Totally Sinister

Recently I was escorted to a private, undisclosed, private location deep in the mountains for an extremely exclusive invitation-only conference. There I spent the night amongst peers as we conferred with each other about various things. We were trained how to obtain our goals. We brainstormed what entices people to join us and what causes them to stick around. We mapped out agendas and ran scenarios. We learned both subtle and overt tricks to bend others to our wills without them realizing as well a mitigating problems that may arise. We attended lectures, and had time alone to contemplate. We partitioned the potential victims amongst ourselves to maximize our success rates. We even performed several rites and rituals.

This wasn't a Satanic cult meeting. Nor was it for the Illuminati. It wasn't a secret GOP nor Democrat conference. I haven't become a secret agent, nor am I an eldritch wizard.

This was simply Bible Study Leadership training.

Turns out you can make pretty much anything sound super evil and sinister. After all, most private training events pretty much cover everything I just listed. You go to learn to maximize your goals, plans are laid out, you may have lectures, certain rites may be performed, and you in general learn the tricks of your trade. Groups of individuals typically have a goal in mind and they plan to reach that goal in the most efficient way possible.

That doesn't mean there is an evil conspiracy lurking trying to take over the world.

Similarly, I am not sure why several people seem to think all corporations are evil or that the government is out to ruin the average person. That would kinda be bad for business/re-election.

What is Love?

I recently was asked the question: what is love?

I honestly could not answer. I have never been in a dating relationship nor am I married, so I couldn't try to describe it from personal experience in those areas. Most of the love I have experienced is either via family or what I discern from other sources.

Historically the Greeks actually have four words for love. Storge is natural affection, typically between family members. Philia is for friendship and "brotherly love." Eros is passionate love, reserved for a desire. It covers dating and marriage, and is not necessarily sexual. Then there is Agape. This is true love. Not just mere attraction, but a deep unconditional commitment love. Modern Biblical scholars point out that Agape is used heavily in the Bible to describe the love of God has for us. For this discussion, let us focus on having Agape love.

Here are a few fall-back cliches about love from different realms:

• As a gamer: Love is a status flag you can be in with another character. You gain it probably by saying the right things and doing the right actions. You will have to show interest in the other person, but if you perform enough positive actions, they automatically fall for you.
• As a scientist: Love is the biochemical cocktail of emotions that are triggered via memory, circumstance, and self-designed conceptions of your environment. There may be ways to influence the reaction to another person via hormones, pheromones, and perhaps there are latent DNA encodings about what we feel are a good mate to fall in love with.
• As a philosopher: Love is a state of being. A connection perhaps. Or maybe it's a kind of disciplined reaction you train yourself to have in reaction to another particular person. It may be a kind of mystical force unknown yet by science. Perhaps the universe conspires to match certain individuals (soul mates). Or perhaps it's just jumbled hormones and we "settle" for someone we can obtain.
• As a romantic: Love is getting struck by lightning and falling back in love every day and every second.
• As a cynic: Love is random firings of your brain that get you in trouble.
• As a Christian: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Also, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" - John 3:16.
• From the Cartoons:

• A friend's answer: "Love is an unconditional commitment to the good of another person."
• From the movies: "When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part." - Captain Corelli's Mandolin
• From a Romantic Comedy: Love is something that just kinda happens but then the universe conspires against them.

It's a tricky question to say the least. Really we would like to think it's more than just emotions or that you can buy love by spending enough time and doing the right things. As a society we seem to enshrine love as one of those pure, good emotions that everyone should experience but so few get. It is also one of those emotions that we are allowed to get caught up and get lost within. It is definitely a good thing.

Yet for some reason it is really hard to nail down, at least in my mind, what love is. One problem is it is not just an emotion. You do not just feel love and get warm and fuzzy. Love has an action component. You are supposed to act out in love. You are supposed to engage with the person you love, and let the bond of love grow and prosper. It has investment and tangible results. Getting married and spending your life together is supposed to be the end result of love. You have to declare love. You don't have to declare, say, being happy. It is perfectly fine to keep being happy locked up inside. Yet love is supposed to have an outer appearance.

Even if we strip it down to just an emotion, it isn't a simple emotion. There is an underlying assumption that it can last. Real love weathers the good and the bad. It acts as a secure anchor. The solidity of love is what distinguishes it from just a passing fancy. However, it also has a very wild side to it. It can completely change your perspective on things, and sometimes make you do things that normally are neither healthy nor in your own best interest. Yet you do them anyways because you are in love. It is a common trope to give your life away in the name of love.

Then again, perhaps there isn't a perfect answer. Perhaps love really is what you make of it. It has so many facets it's really quite unique and plays out differently amongst different individuals.

I think for now I'll settle somewhere between my friend's definition and a deep emotional response. Then again, I'm sure actually falling in love one day will change my life's perspective.