A Wish

Man this thing is dusty.

Anyways, was thinking about what I would wish for if I had a wish. You know, like a genie or something like that popped out and decided to grant me a single wish. The typical story about how this would go is I'd wish for power, or fame, or money, and then it would either backfire or not be what I expected or something like that. Or I'd be selfless and wish for world peace and the world was a better place, or worse sometimes. Or there's the ones where it does come true and everything turns out well, like in Aladdin. For now, to keep tings simple, let's assume it all works out.

I oddly think I would choose to see what the world would be like without me, similar to in It's a Wonderful Life.

Perhaps it's a touch vain, but I think it would be really interesting to see what my life is worth. From my personal view, I don't myself causing huge swings in history. George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life had some remarkable events in his life, such as saving his brother's life and how he dealt with his boss Mr. Gower the druggist. I don't think I've had that kind of impact in history. And from what I can tell I haven't changed people's lives drastically. Sure I've had a few rivals, some interesting friendships, and held positions of power and influence but all-in-all nothing terribly remarkable.

So, I wonder, what would the world be like without me? Would my absence have caused a butterfly effect ripple and many of my friends would be dead or vastly different? Or perhaps there would be differences but they were subtle, like a sibling chose a slightly different career or a friend holds a different religion.

Or, I wonder, would I have been simply replaced by others in people's lives and life went on without me.

It's quite the vain wish, to see how important your life was, and yet I still wonder.

Truthfully, what would you wish for?

New Mantras

OK, thinking on a few things and I think I have a new set of mantras to live by.

When at Advantage, do as Little as possible.

This relates particularly well to playing co-op games or leading groups. Basically, when you're in a dominant position either by experience (you've played this game professionally for a few years) or intent (you read the passage 'cause you're the one presenting the lesson) you should do as little as possible. Let the others grow, develop, and succeed. It helps no one if you dominate the forum. They will learn very little, you will look overbearing, stuff falls apart.

One keen example is at LAN parties. I've fallen into this trap sooo many times. I'm really, really good at certain games, and since it's my relaxation time I figure time to make myself feel good by dominating the enemy team. The only problem is by crushing them I don't make them feel "oh, Trevin is so amazing, I want to be like him one day." Instead, they just get frustrated that they can't contribute and they just leave. Similarly this happens at times in small groups. I've grown up in the church and so I have a pretty darn good grasp of many complex subjects. But just supplying the "right" answer every time doesn't help anyone else learn. They just end up resenting me or feeling like they aren't contributing.

The caveat is don't do nothing. It is still your responsibility to keep things going. Play an active role in teaching and nurturing. Rain down praise when people do things right. Guide new people. Facilitate. If the group is getting lost in the discussion, calmly nudge them back on track.

But DO NOT tip your hand that you are pulling your punches. Or else they'll feel like you're looking down on them and belittling them.

When at a Disadvantage, go all out

Now, for the opposite. If you're the newbie, the out-of-shape guy at the frisbee game, the fresh intern, go all out. Make a fool of yourself stumbling. Run yourself ragged. Take as active part as you can until you're in the group mentioned above.

The worst thing you can ever do is stay passive, try to carefully cultivate your skills, then think you can waltz onto stage and go TA-DA, look how much I did all by myself! For one thing, good luck catching up. For another, you've wasted valuable time that could have been spent using the resources at your disposal. Grab a mentor, bug people with questions, be humble and ask for help when you don't understand instead of running into what the pros know is an obvious trap. Or worse, get defensive when you do screw up and moan back that it's all THEIR fault.

Bringing it back to games, this is how you learn DotA/HoN/LoL. You loudly announce you're a noob, people will help. Die a bunch of times due to incompetence, get called a feeder noob by your team, get defensive, game goes bad due to infighting and slurs, not the way to do things. Similarly, as the new hire I keep oscillating between being the pest who is learning by leaps and bounds how to do my job and the quiet "studious" one who gets bored out of his mind because he doesn't understand the words on his screen. Yes, I am bothering my mentor if I ask questions while they're in the middle of some huge analysis, but I don't help my team by staying incompetent longer.

Of course, don't be stupid. Being a constant pest, loudly making the excuse that you're new and useless, only makes you a whiner and a pest. Get your head down, power through, but every time you eat dirt pick yourself up and see if there's any pointers you can glean from your betters.

OK, now that I've published to the world, time to try living by them. Wish me luck.

Explorations on Google+

OK, blog time about the amazingness that is Google+. Seriously. The only reason I'm not using it 100% of the time is not all my friends have been given the chance to jump over. Thoughts and critiques commence!

The "Friend Request"

While it's easy to say it's "Facebook but not Facebook" I'm starting to realize that's fundamentally incorrect. I mean, yeah, you could use it exactly like Facebook. But that's not its underlying rationale and structure.

Really, it's basic structure is more Twitter-ish. By default you might fire off Public Posts that anyone who is following you can see. But you have some subsets that you share more personal stuff with, like Family or Friends-only, and Google+ is happy to oblige you.

This is different from the Facebook model. Note that to see what others do, you just need to follow them. It's a unidirectional transaction. Contrast this to Facebook where you have to confirm your Friend Request, and then everything is shared between the two parties bilaterally. In fact, I have several people on Facebook I've friended then summarily hid from my feed 'cause I'm using it like a Rolodex and don't actually care about what is going on in their lives, or I don't share things with my "Limited" friends because I figure I'm not as caught up with them, they probably don't care about my stuff anyways.

Obviously you can replicate this Facebook Friend behavior. Google+ tells you who is following (but not what circle you've been placed into) and you can promptly follow back. Friend Request Accepted! Commence 2-way spam! (This is also apparently what most of use are doing right now)

However, really what following someone means is not "are you my friend" but instead "do I care about what you post and share and see what is going on in your life." And perhaps it's mutual. Perhaps it's not.

The Subsets and Supersets of Circles

Google+'s main cool feature is a really, really nice way of organizing your friends. These Circles though allow you to share stuff with specific sets of friends. Some of the obvious ones are Family-Only announcements. Some more creative ones I'm are people making specific lists for sharing a particular part of their life, like music they found or links on the internet. Personally I'm building a "Spammable" circle for my link propagation habits. (These are often opt-in and people will post seeing who wants in. Hopefully a feature will come that will allow us to make these circle opt-in from the other side instead of us manually sorting the masses.)

Since we can place the same person in several circles, you suddenly have a very interesting potential set of overlapping circles, just like modeling your real life. Currently I've sorted people mostly by my relationship to them, and the Spammable circle is a way to mash a bunch of them together from disparate parts of my social network. This way I still have a network of individuals sorted, but only the closer ones regardless of other circles get my spam.

Of course, if you instead want to use it as originally intended, just push most of your stuff as Public and use Circles for specifically targeted messages and conversations. I'm sure as time goes on we'll see more ideas and structures develop using this feature.

HANGOUT ARE AWESOME

Probably the most badass feature so far are Hangouts. It's group video chat, up to 10 people. Sure Skype and Ventrilo and many others have similar things, but Google+ has 2 major advantages.

Sure, there's video. And that's kinda awesome to see people's faces again and their expressions as they laugh or give you the stare.

The kicker is the natural casual nature of the hangouts. Two people can just be "Hanging out" and a button shows up on Google+ to let you join in. Boom, instantly you're in! THAT'S AWESOME!!! It's like my olde East Dorm Lounge. Walk in, people are there, chill, leave when you want. None of this "setup a call" or "did so-and-so invite me to that group". Well. You could do that via Circles and just not invite people. But still, Hangouts provide a really nice way for people to just walk into the meeting and chill with friends. This feature alone is egging me on to finally buy a webcam. (I know, no smartphone, no webcam, still stuck in the 2000s)

Google Integration

A really, really sweet feature is you can see the notifications on any (well, almost any) Google App page. Your top bar that typically tells you all the Google Apps you can switch to gains a notification spot and a field you can use to quickly share something you just found.

Number shows up for how many notifications you have, you can review them and quickly see just the updates, then resume your Gmail or Google Searching. That feature alone, that I don't have to keep a Facebook Tab open, is gonna be the downfall of mankind's productivity I guarantee you. And instantly sharing? Oh goodness me.

Still some Rough Edges

So, that Google Integration? Somehow it doesn't work on Calendar. D'oh. Also, using the "Share" system on Google Reader doesn't appear to load it into Google+ (yet). And Vimeo video embeds don't work. And they won't let us invite more people. And apparently it hasn't rolled out to Google Apps so go setup a GMail / Google Account if you want to partake. And obviously since it has no data it can't suggest people to you very well yet so you'll have to search people manually.

EDIT: Apparently it doesn't catch my Blogger Posts either! /EDIT

"Better" Privacy

Well, at least it's not randomly popping stuff up like a stalker on other pages and it's way easier to only send stuff privately to a subset of your buddies and there aren't any subversive data mining 3rd-party applications, but you know Google wants all your data. COOOOKIES. OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

But seriously, even with the Buzz and a slight oopsie here, Google has had a better track record on privacy than Facebook. And while it's still getting out the kinks in letting me custom tailor my privacy settings to lockdown mode, the bonus of using Circles to carefully cull who gets what sensitive info is a huge plus already.

The BIG Question:

Will it beat Facebook?

Dunno. The biggest issue is can you get the adoption rate? Social networks like this only work if everyone else is using it so you use it too. And getting that critical mass is what makes or breaks it. Also, tearing people away from Farmville.

For most of my friends, we're flocking to it ASAP. So, it's gained critical mass for a few of my circles. But there are several other still left out in the cold. Even with some of its oddities and bugs I like it and frankly I bet a bunch of my non-as-tech-savvy friends would like it too.

The Problem with Saying You're Sorry

I've noted something interesting. A lot of people say "Oops, I'm sorry" or "I need to work on that." This can be something skill based, like your macro in Starcraft 2. It could also be something you did, like cheating. The problem is not everyone actually makes a change.

We seem to fall into the trap that saying "I'm sorry" is so powerful and special that often times it's enough to just bow your head in humility. And in response we reciprocate and forgive the offending party. End of story?

No.

The problems persist. They aggravate and we just keep going "oops" and walking away. Sometimes it's just a personality quirk in a friend, like a certain catch phrase or driving technique. Other times it's a habitual problem that ruins lives, like infidelity.

We really need to look for the core problem and fix it.

Sean Plott (Day[9]) does a show on learning to be better at Starcraft 2 and has a segment every week called Newbie Tuesday. On one recent episode he comments that you shouldn't just say, "Oh, I need to work on my macro" you need to find out what was wrong and fix it. In his example game he shows the player forgetting to always produce workers, a critical error that slows down your resource collection throughout the match. He even comments that saying, "Oh, I should work on always making workers" is insufficient. Make a plan and execute it. For example, keep that building on a hotkey and constantly check it ALL GAME EVERY SECOND. Excessive? Sure. Real Pros at the game know when to jump to the building and make a new one. But you're not a pro, and this plan will ensure you will always be making workers.

Similarly I often fall into the trap of not listening intently. "Oh, I should work on that" sounds good, and apologies to all parties injured by my negligence are nice, but really I have to focus on the core issue. I think whatever I'm doing is more important. Obviously the other person will remind me later and I'll remember it then, right? WRONG. So to train myself, I need to always give my full attention every time someone talks to me. Even in the middle of doing other things, drop it and give my full attention. Also, taking up note taking so I don't have to rely on my sometimes spotty memory. Sure I may only mess up remembering things 10% of the time, but sometimes those are critical things I forget.

It's really odd how we've fallen into this trap. Are apologies so rare and forgiveness so foreign that we feel sufficiently absolved when we use them? Perhaps. It's often a huge story any time someone gives a formal apology. Instead we seem to focus on saving face properly and weaseling out of the situation. Or perhaps it's just short-term reverence and really we don't care when we apologize? I hope not, because I've been fairly sincere every time I apologize.

Are there areas you need to finally make a plan to fix? How do you evaluate what the core issues are in your life?

Infatuation with Stories

I think I have a slight infatuation with stories.

I really enjoy telling them and hearing/reading them. Often times, it doesn't even need to be that great of a story to get me hooked.

There are times they get tedious. Or really obvious. At which point I can stop. And this applies to TV series too. I dropped out mid-season of several shows that had connecting storylines mostly because I got bored/pissed/annoyed.

I'm not sure why this is true.

Telling stores is a little obvious. I get to control the mood and timbre of things. I also enjoy sharing. And sometimes it's the only way to keep the silence away. I'm perfectly willing to fill conversation gaps with my voice if needed and then back off the instant someone interjects. I also enjoy the crafting elements and making it all flow together. Best of all when you can describe something super complex elegantly and to someone who didn't expect they'd understand, i.e. most engineering I do.

Hearing stories perhaps hearkens to middle school and high school. There was an element of control, things would resolve, good triumphs, etc. Gave a nice balance to my otherwise hectic life. I could spend an entire day wrapped up in another world, breathing it in, and forgetting the reality around me.

Even the narrative of simple things intrigue me. The stories of game development, simple faux pas events, or the crafting of a meal.

Are other's the same?

I Hate Online Banking

So, I try to log into my account today. It claims my password/username don't match and therefore we have a problem. I type it all in again, still no dice.

OK, I'll just reset my password!

Go through the security checks, at the end it asks me to set a new password. I type in my olde password I was just trying.

"Your new password must be different from your old password"

Wait.

You're telling me this is my password on file.

The one I'm typing in now.

The one you JUST SAID was a mismatch.

Update on Life

Hm missed last week. Oh wellz. Hi to the 5-10 people who actually read this when things get posted. =p

Anyways, time to take a break on "insightful" posts because I'm kinda stumped. Here's a few ideas I've been tossing around

• Are we looking at the wrong numbers?
• HoNvLoL again (but just the major points)
• Gamer v1.5

But, meh, I don't feel like taking the time to write that stuff down. So you get dull life story instead!

Anyways, last weekend was the Catalyst Spring Retreat. For those who are in Catalyst who missed out, um, you missed out! I mean, getting to see Landon, Eddie, Jon, and Tim wail on branches and logs? Operating pneumatic log splitters? Awesome food? Leaving Matt in the forested hills to fend for himself? BONFIRE? \o/

Thesis has been going well, I guess. I've hit the minimum required 60 pages, except that count includes stuff like the Table of Contents, Title Page, Glossary, etc. I still have a few sections to write, could probably beef up several parts, and need to spend a day making figures. I could also drown out another 10 pages by inserting sample code. But, suffice to say it's nice to finally hit a major milestone, even if it did take me 2 weeks to grind this out on top of refreshing my memory on using LaTeX (heck yeah tables). Now if only I could get some revisions back from the professors.

Grading is a pain. Enough said.

Car has been used, and will be used. But I'm mostly biking around Davis because parking is atrocious at UCD and I like the exercise. I noticed that after a decent hike at the retreat I was sure I'd be sore all along my calves and thighs, being mostly out of shape and all, but woke up the next day not sore at all. That's biking legs for ya. Now if only I could automatically work my back and arms every day. Silly desk job. But back to the car, it's really been useful for carting people around Davis already. Still have to get an oil change and a solid look-over by a mechanic, but overall it's running well and serves me well. And really I can't complain for the price D gave me on it.

Next up are a series of get togethers with some dudes, Picnic Day, and running A/V as the main point man Sunday Evening. Gonna be fun, especially since it's the college kids doing worship too. So, College kids running sound, slides, worship, and maybe even announcements. Would have been hilarious if the college pastor was also giving the sermon. Then it'd be just like Monday nights, except in a bigger room with older people participating. =p

Anyhows, that's a light dump on my goings on. Laterz.