Friday, March 25, 2011

Basis of Attraction

I blame one of my female friends for asking pointed questions which then forced me to resolve my views on this topic. You know who you are.

Let's talk for a moment about attraction/dating/relationships. Or, more accurately, my views on them. Feel free to fill the comments section with your own opinions.

For this post, I am focusing on what attributes of a female attract my interest. These roughly fall into two categories.

First, we have the logical ideal woman. This is from years of hearing about what is good for a relationship, things I find desirable, etc. The double-talk list is as follows:
  • Intelligent.
  • Stable, but willing to change and learn.
  • Reserved, but not closeted nor reclusive.
  • Energized, but not over-the-top.
  • Responsible, but not meddling.
  • Humble, but not subservient.
  • Stand up for what she believes in, but willing to concede if proven wrong.
  • Pretty, but not vain.
You get the picture. =p

Then, there are things that I pick up on when I first meet a girl that instantly hit me in the gut. Logical reasons be damned.

One of the notables is passion and skill. I have a particular weak point for musically talented individuals. Probably because of how many years I've sunk into my own musical skills (with subpar results) and how much music affects me. This is especially true if she can sing and/or play piano/keyboard. Also, being passionate about what they do is key. Just having skill is one thing, and typically the category I fall into. Taking your skills to a whole new level is exciting and definitely draws me to the person. Dunno why, but this is all an instant attention grabber for me.

Another would be a common interest such as games. It's one of the major venues that I can spend oodles of time on, especially when playing with other people. I have literally walked into rooms knowing no one, then played a few games with people and we're buddies. Plus, I love discussing how to play them better and on designing better, interesting, and fair games. Other notables include things like anime, music (see above), faith, cooking, and whatever else.

Ironically while looks can help, they don't have quite the same internal instinctive draw for me. This might be due to self-training and constantly telling myself to look for character over looks, but I'll leave the psychoanalysis for someone else. Don't get me wrong, a girl wearing some seriously elegant or well-thought outfit with a body to match is very eye-catching. But it seems to trigger a different set of attraction than the aforementioned ones. Physical beauty and attraction are one things, but strong subtle gravitation is a totally different thing.

Anyways, typically the initial attraction leads to very fast "getting to know" phases, and levels out in favor of a more "logical" approach to candidacy. No surprise there for anyone. As everyone should already know, initial attraction isn't worth squat once you get to know the layers of the person and whether or not you're actually compatible and willing to commit to being in for the long-term. And then things start getting complicated.

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Light Story

The following is as close to a transcription of a dream I had a while ago that I could write. Re-done slightly to explain the gaps of wtf madness that occurs in dreams, and the characters were given names.
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Margaret and Tim stood on the platform, waiting for the train. They happened to be next to each other by coincidence. They had entered the campus from opposite entrances, but through the various tangled webs of service lines and passages and time knots here they were. Both waiting for the train at the same time.

Gracefully the bullet entered the station and the doors slid open. As they entered they both unceremoniously found seats. Margaret opted for a seat next to the aisle. Tim sat one row behind, but one seat inward.

A brief survey of the train showed only one other person in the train. Another young man a few rows towards the front. Otherwise the car was empty. Made sense due to the timing and nature of the schedule. Tim idly began fiddling with his papers.

"Hello," said a voice.

Tim looked up to see the gentleman standing in the aisle, obviously addressing Margaret. Margaret looked at him, gave a small smile with a nod, and turned her head back to resume staring out the window. Tim casually looked back down at his papers.

"I said hello," the man said again. He was now sitting down across the aisle.

"Hi," Margaret responded.

"Oh come now. It's not like I'm going to ask you out. Just trying to make conversation."

Silence.

"Name's Thaddeus by the way."

Tim glanced back up. The young man, Thaddeus, had moved into the seat next to Margaret. Obviously this was all too smooth to be just casual conversation. Tim knew though that Margaret was too smart for that. He had tried a small ploy on the platform and she had returned with the usual iciness.

"And who might you be?" Thaddeus tried, turning to Tim.

"Timothy. Most call me Tim."

"Pleasure to meet you. First time going in to Titan Security I see." Thaddeus nodded at the papers in Tim's hands.

Tim smiled weakly.

"It's a shame I couldn't get the slower train. I had wanted to get a better glimpse of the transit," Thaddeus continued. Tim noted there was a divine musical quality to his voice. Almost a hint of some kind of accent buried deep within as well. It wasn't terribly surprising. Titan Security hired people from all sorts of periods and regions. They had to have the best there ever was.

The train's intercomm announced the train was preparing to leave and for all occupants to please find a seat to avoid interference during transit. Thaddeus rematerialized in the seat across the aisle again.

"Hm, I believe I'll be seeing a few of my old buddies. Margaret will be seeing Mary though."

Margaret perked up.

"Really a shame though. She did always get fixated on those rare few moments. Much like playing a game of dice and rolling a low after as string of highs. Never mind your previous luck, you always fixated on that one roll where the rest caught up and overtook you. And never mind your future luck either."

Thaddeus sighed and sank back into his chair.

"Oh well, should be over quite quickly on this route."

The door hissed shut and the windows blacked out. The train's internal lighting seemed much more harsh than the simulated sunlight of the station platform.

"Really is odd though. I'm guessing you're both third-rates. No Fate running in your lives."

Margaret finally spoke up, "And what would you know about all this? You some kind of Master?"

"Third-class as a matter of fact. I was the unfortunate one who mired about with separating Julien and Jones, and look how well that turned out. Silly of me to try and mess with first-rate Fate players. Cost me a shot at second-class Master status."

Tim was taken back a bit. A Master? First time he'd ever met one. It was rare for anyone to get a handle on time manipulation, and even more rare for them to casually be taking a train.

Granted, they had nothing on those who had Fate running their lives. If you were fortunate enough to have Fate, it didn't matter what others tried to do. Eventually things ran their course, sometimes in the most extreme ways. There were legends about Masters being asked to change a Fate line and try their hardest the universe would rearrange itself back in alignment with the original, give or take a few thousand lives. It was why the Masters Guild was even formed in the first place, to ensure they could notice, catalogue, and reconcile the Fate lines and to make sure Masters didn't do anything stupid.

Third-rates like Tim though were just chaff. Lucky to even exist in their little corner of the universe. Lucky for their timeline to even exist. Still, he was going to work for Titan Securities. That had to stand for something.

Tim didn't get a chance to really think much more on it. A thin purple veil suddenly ran through the train. As it passed through him he suddenly felt his consciousness collide with whoever else in some other part of the universe used that seat on their trip. It was brief and Titan had figured out how to separate the different pieces back out the other end as they entered Titan itself in the singularity, but for a brief moment it was uncomfortable to be sharing the same mind space as someone else.

As they entered the Titan complex proper, the windows opened up again. Margaret apparently was slightly worse for wear from her encounter with Mary. It wasn't every day you ran into your own time clone. No, that's not quite right. Really Mary was another version of Margaret, but in a separate timeline.

They hated each other.

Due to several infinite crisis events many people had met their double from other universes. Some got along quite well. Others were too similar with just enough difference that they drove each other mad. Margaret and Mary fell into the latter group.

"Well, that was fun." Thaddeus commented.

Thaddeus phased to where his old seat was and picked up his briefcase. "Pleasure talking to you fine folk. Perhaps we'll run into each other some other time."

The train slid into the station. Tim gathered up his papers and stood to leave along with all the others that bustled in the train.

"Welcome to Titan Securities. Please remember that all trans-universe devices are disabled while in Titan. We hope that you enjoyed your transit. You are entering Titan on 1567-point-143. It is 5 o'clock in the evening. Your universal watches have been automatically synchronized."

Tim joined the crowd on the train platform and trudged into the giant building.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Still A Virgin

For those that have known me for a while, this shouldn't surprise you.

For those that don't...um...see topic title!

But yeah. I currently have around a 94 Purity Score last I checked (2008), and I still have yet to do drugs, have hot dates, or anything sexual. Although I have tasted a touch of alcohol since then. Hm. Maybe minus like 1 point, so 93. Still stinkin' high.

This really puts me in an odd situation at times. In some circles I might have what people call "moral high ground" which amounts to pretty much nothing most of the time. Au contraire in other cases this means I'm a total wuss who doesn't know jack squat about the world (or a girl's naughty parts as it were, and I hear it's the Final Frontier of Man).

Now, if we were to turn to popular's culture take on things, I guess it kinda boils down to what kind of virgin I am. The majority of pop culture would side more with Steve Carell in 40-Year Old Virgin. While I do enjoy making people laugh, I hopefully am not as completely and woefully unprepared for the world beyond my little toys. Then on the other end is Marcus of Babylon 5. Saving yourself for that special someone has been my defining philosophy. However, I'm not nearly as badass as him, and I don't have an awesomely cool British accent. Phooey. Although [spoilarz] his death does tickle the romantic in me [/spoilarz].

Now, obviously there are reasons for this current state.

Let's start with the negatives. I don't deal well with letting people get close to me. Still something I'm working on. History and stuff. Ask me personally if you'd like to know. Also, I'm obviously a touch of a nerd. Not exactly your stereotypically ideal dating material, unless you have some weird sick mind of being a manipulative gold digger, at which point I'd notice and avoid you like the plague.

On more neutral ground it's a mix of things. Didn't see the point for most of my life (i.e. High School), especially since I didn't know where I'd end up. Location of settling down is quite important, and a major concern. Some of my male colleagues have mentioned this is silly in some respects, and having a long-range relationship can really help iron stuff out and interpose a touch of trial, which all relationships need now and then to mature.

On a rationalizing side I could claim there aren't suitable mates, and this is mostly true. I've noted with some of my friends that some of the principle characteristics I look for are compatibility in values, intellect, interests, and so forth. Unfortunately there is a shortage of girls that fit the ideal. Imagine that, reality not being the ideal. Someone get me a prize in Original Philosophy. The pool gets worse because of my aforementioned nerdy tendencies. Doubled that any that I do encounter usually get taken pretty quickly. And my lack of a 6-pack set of abs.

However, one nice upside is I seem to have a fairly good control of lust. I never have issues of thinking about my female friends in a degrading manner, and am totally OK with talking just to talk. Yes there are those I'm attracted to, but I can put it out of my mind pretty easily. Granted, due my naivety of what I'm missing, this could all go up in smoke the moment someone actually challenges me on this front, so this is more of a "maybe."

As for health, I'm pretty sure my mental and physical characteristics are within reason. No weird "hormone build-up" or something odd like that. And I haven't taken up killing women or something silly like that either, and as I mentioned above I'm actually the opposite of a walking hormone, perhaps because of my situation. Really it's something that doesn't bother me too much while I keep myself busy with other matters, like making friends and graduating from school. And while my doctors always ask me twice if I'm "sexually active" just to make sure I'm not lying, they haven't mentioned anything wrong with me yet medically.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, this is also why I wear a silver purity ring.

So, there you have it. A set of rambling points on a portion of my life.


PS. In case you were wondering, we're defining this virginity as covered by the definition of SPORK. For those who do not know what that means, boohoo.

PPS. As a disclaimer, I am NOT looking for someone to "cure" me.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Biking is Theraputic

One nice advantage of only having a bike is that each day I am required to spend at least 30 minutes pedaling.

Note that biking is way more relaxing than driving a car. And has more exercise involved.

So, I get a chance to randomly reflect on things. It's quite nice really.

I've solved problems I've been working on for several hours.

I've remembered to call/text various friends.

I've thought up new designs and game mechanics.

I've brought up better comebacks for next time.

I've mulled over what I could have done better when talking with X.

I've planned Bible Studies. Not all of one, but a small portion I thought was weak.

I've contemplated my death.

I've contemplated where I am in life and if I'm happy with it.

I've processed how bloody cold/windy/wet it is and how awesome it is that I can't see because the water is getting in my eyes even with my glasses which are now fogging up.

It's quite nice really.