Missteps and False Starts

A friend of mine recently (OK, several weeks ago) had a rather amusing post on how girls tend to think and puzzle out if a guy likes them. In short, humans be freakin' crazy and confusing.

So, here's some totally super surefire ways that guys like me let you know we're interested.

1) We want to talk with you. A lot. Like, every single moment.
2) We only talk to you once a week. For a few minutes. At a group gathering where we're conveniently together.
3) When we go dancing, we ask you to dance more times than the other girls.
4) We make sure the other girls get to dance a lot 'cause we're nice guys like that and don't want you to figure out #3.
5) We ask for your number.
6) We commence to never text you for fear that we'll screw up.
7) We want to "make you feel wanted" like that one song. Heck, we might even sing it to you.
8) We never ever EVER let you know we objectify you. 'Cause, you know, lewd jerks do that. And I'm an upstanding awesome respectful kinda guy.
9) We like hugs. Especially from you.
10) We like hugs in general. And not just those silly Christian side-hugs.
11) We tell very private things to you. Either from our childhood or stuff that's going on.
12) We never tell you private things. That's reserved for people we're dating or in accountability groups.
13) We give you stuff with no regard if you'll repay us.
14) We're generous dudes in general and treat everyone out.

So there you go. A surefire way to know when a guy is TOTALLY INTO YOU. =D

Gone Dark

I haven't posted in a while.

This usually means one of two things.

1) I'm super stressed and depressed and can't bring myself to write an honest post about it without feeling more like a whiny attention whore.
2) Things are going super crazy awesome fun times I have no down time.

Feel free to speculate on which option is currently in effect.

Around the Interwebs

This week was pretty good for news that interested me.

By which I mean actively blocking most of the political yamhammering.

Game News:
A retrospective on the development of Dear Esther. I've been a huge fan of this guy from the beginning, and it's quite a riveting piece on the turmoil and craziness involved with launching the remake of the mod. Also, he's super talented.

If you don't have enough DRM-free games to play on your Android, Linux, or Mac (I'm gonna assume you have plenty on your PC) Humble Indie Bundle has yet another bundle. I now have games to play on my phone while I poop that aren't Dominion.

Homefront was a AAA-ish shooter back in the day. It didn't do too hot. Here's the story of the poor dev studio. The byline is The long, tortured journey of Homefront, so that kinda gives a glimpse of what it's about. Still a fascinating read of what AAA game development is like.

The Dystopia mod announced patch 1.4. I thought they had stopped developing this! For those that don't know, Dystopia is a free Source game in a cyberpunk future. It involves meatspace and cyberspace, awesome weapons, cool tech, implants, classes, and really inventive maps. Biggest problem is navigating the maps and "solving" each map, due to the symmetric nature of each one. However, it appears they're trying to remedy the map/UI problem once again.

Tech (the future):
Microsoft announced they can not only transcribe your speech, and then convert it based on sentences/context, but then play it back in your own voice. :O

Inspirational:
The Fight by Dustin Curtis. Pairs well with
 

Politics:
In case you were wondering how the map looks for this last election, but setup so the size of a region represents its importance.

Just plain COOL:
Walk off the Earth is a YouTube band. They have several good covers, and have made some of their own songs. You probably know them best from their 5-person-on-1-guitar cover of Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye. They made this video using a single cut, but the parts are all out of order. Fastforwarding and rewinding puts them back in order. WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

Install Chrome. Jam with friends.

Circles of Friends

I love a good analogy.

Let's think about circles of friends like a castle. And let's be egotistical and say you're the king/queen of the realm.

First you've got the wild woods beyond. Unknowns lurk there. Tiger and lion and bears. Strangers.

Then you've got the cultivated lands. You can see people in the distance, but you don't really know them. They're far away, but at least they're a part of your kingdom.

A little closer is the town. Transactions are made. Infrastructure built. It houses many but you can't know everything about all of them. It's a mix of people from trained and skilled artisans to merchants who take care of finances. It is full of laborers and movers and shakers. You do business with them, they get something from you.

Then you arrive at the castle walls. These are your "real" friends. You protect them. You give freely of your resources. This isn't just business anymore, you see them on a regular basis and are personable. And if something should happen they will be some of the first to rally to the walls and help defend the kingdom. Note that the courtyard can still hold many people, and in some ways is a subset of the surrounding village. But the difference is the dependability. On the outside of the wall it's almost purely business. Inside the wall it's shared interests.

Next is within the keep. For simplicity I like to just to the Great Hall. Here court is held. Here all the advisers convene. Discussions are had, jests are thrown, and proclamations fall first upon these ears. These people know you very, very well. You enjoy their company, and value their insight. This is also where the family often resides. They help keep council and celebrate with your success.

Lastly is the council chamber itself. Within here everything is laid bare. Exactly how well the coffers are going. The rumors of roving bands of marauders. The health of the kingdom and of the ruler. Intimate secrets are exchanged. Remember, in the Great Hall you act the ruler. Things are going smoothly, justice must be upheld. But in the council chamber defenses come down and the real worries are allowed to be presented. Plans are hashed out. Advice given and taken. And what is said in that chamber rarely spills out. These are the closest of friends who will understand when things are going bad, and secretly rejoice when things are going well. They stand as equals when you sit with them. Not a ruler, but as a person.

Experimental: A House Tour

Greetings! And welcome to the abode of Mr. Brand.

Please do come in. I suppose you'd first like the grand tour of this place. It does appear you've traveled quite a ways to be here.

Come along now. You're a shy one, aren't you? Don't worry, I won't hurt you. But I would recommend you watch your step. Lots of random pipes sticking out of the floors around here. Simply shoddy work I say.

If we had known you were coming we might have cleaned it all up a bit. Oh dear, do be careful with that stack of books. That's precisely what I mean. Things being left wherever. Dreadful mess. Do watch your step, a few nasty pipes here. Don't want to trip and land flat on your face. Wouldn't do at all to cover the axons in blood now would it.

Ah, here is the Master Study. Quite cozy. You'll note the various stations around the room and the Victorian chair behind the aluminum control board. It's perched on the gray wood pedestal in the back. Lots of access to all the files and books and whatnot behind those oak doors over yonder across the room. Dreadful mess in there, but much quicker than running down to the archives. Plus this room has the best air conditioning around. Always exactly the right temperature. Makes it easier to get in the groove Mr. Brand says. I say if he wanted to get in the groove he should get rid of those infernal speakers. Always blasting music in here. Terribly distracting I think. Ah, but what do I know.

Come along, still much to see. These hallways you may notice are inspired by old mountain hunting lodges. Strong stone floors, rough hewn wooden walls, and large beams for the rafters. All steel rebar just like in the old days. Although these electric lights ruin the atmosphere a little. And the lack of moose heads. We're not much for decorating around here. Unless you count the piles of books left here and there. Short-term storage he always claims.

Now here's a very nice place, the Artery. Plenty of canvases to paint on and screens to bring up fond memories for inspiration. Or not so fond memories. We don't always paint pretty pictures of butterflies in here. No, that'd be terribly boring. Always fun to dim the lights a little and give a good scare. A few dabs of red for eyes can really make a piece you know. Completely changes the atmosphere. And fear isn't about what you see, it is about what you don't see. Oh good heavens look at me babbling about the art of fear. Must be dreadfully boring for you. Let's move along here shall we? Do mind your step, the antiques here are quite valuable.

And here we are. Through these doors now. And this is the Grand Library. Many many things filed away and indexed and stacked. Sometimes I wonder if we have too much in here. Too bad we don't clean up, things keep getting lost. Especially in the Deep Archives. Not enough light back there, and I swear someone keeps playing tricks and is mucking up all the good books with little annotations and whatnot. Why, just last week I retrieved a story about this birthday party and I could have sworn there was some other fellow in it but all the pictures were scribbled over. Terrible waste, impossible to make the fellow's face and name out. Pity, it was such a nice story. There was cake and dancing and everything.

Oh dear me, I've been babbling again. Well, that concludes our brief tour of Mr. Brand's home. Would you care to have an escort back to the exit? Oh, but I insist. I can't very well leave you alone in here. Too many things you could break, and I couldn't forgive myself if you got lost. Yes, I'm quite sure you're a very capable young man, but you see, we didn't have time to clean up and there are some very sensitive items around that must be looked after and -

Oh my.

Well, if we're doing it that way I suppose I can't refuse. Although really I do think the sword is a bit overly dramatic don't you think? Something tells me you think it makes you elegant and refined. But I say a gun would work just as well.

I see. Guess that's very thoughtful of you, thinking about collateral. Although there would still be the matter of the rug. It is quite soft and blood doesn't come out well.

Yes I know you didn't come here for cleaning lessons. In fact, your surprise at seeing me here at all told me much more than that. But of course you weren't expecting me around. Not many households are able to be staffed at all, let alone now at night. But, you already knew that. You're not a common burglar.

Oh, my mistake. A thief is it? Just as well. I'm afraid you won't be finding what you're looking for. See, I was lying about leaving things scattered around. You really think Mr. Brand and I would leave important memories like that just littered around the place? Especially ones concerning the latest Datajack prototypes. And don't go looking for a safe either. We like to keep the place a little messy with a purpose. Makes it easier to get to things ourselves, but also much harder for someone else to find it. That didn't mean you have my permission to go running down the aisles.

Blast it boy, stop running about. By the way, did you like the architecture? I thought it a nice touch as well. Too often you come in and are greeted by random globes of light or bubbling brooks in forests or massive walls of filing cabinets. Why not have a bit of class when running from one cortex to another, hm? Although we do need to work on the plumbing. Still haven't gotten those blasted capillary lines stowed neatly away.

Why no, good sir, I am not stalling. I am merely talking to myself while I follow you. I strongly doubt you have need to kill me, and I have no intention of intervening with your search. Oh my, I did say be careful with those book piles. They're quite unstable, and liable to land on you at some time if you keep yanking them out at random. No I am not insulting you, just giving you a few pointers. Well, to you the same then.

Now if you're quite done running down the aisles and pulling memories at random, I can escort you to the exit and we can be civil about this. Ah, it was worth a shot. Now put that down before you get someone hurt. I like my head where it is thank you very much. But I won't be helping you.

Well, that smarts.

ahem That smarts quite a bit really. But really you should have cough let me escort you out. You see, this architecture - this maze of passageways - isn't just for show really. My employer is aptly skilled at rearranging things. I think you'll have quite a doozy of a time just finding the exit from here. A couple of piles are probably moved around. And even if you do, the axon hallways will undoubtedly be different than on your way in.

ahem. Yes, I suppose you are a bit fucked, but do watch your language. Did you really think it was going to be that easy to waltz into this mind and sample a few secrets? Please, you just made the worst mistake of your cough cough miserable little career. Mr. Brand is rated a Level 3 Psianst.

Oh please, I'm already bleeding out. No need to stab me again. cough No, more holes won't make me tell you the cough cough bloody way out. In fact, it makes it much harder to show you the way out since I can't - well come now, I don't have a foot anymore.  cough Very brilliant you silly cough bastard. How am I supposed to walk now? Brilliant cough cough brilliant solution old chap. cough cough wheeze

Bah, enough of this. I will take my leave and leave you to your silly prattling. Come now, you didn't figure it out? I'm the daemon of Michael Brand you ignorant twat. This is my dominion, my very own mind. I can do whatever I please, including healing my own bloody mental projection in my own bloody mind space. I am not stupid, but apparently you are. Good luck finding your way out. I'm afraid you'll be here for quite a while. A little game instead of killing you. Let's see if you can escape my maze as I rearrange it on the fly. Maybe I'll make a mistake and you'll sneak through a crack. Or maybe I'll be able to keep you buried in layers upon layers of walls of books. Surrounded by my memories. All the information you could want about me and yet you will never find what you are looking for.

Ah, you are finally getting it now. Good. All the more reason to just kill yourself now isn't it? Not much hope of you competing with me in my own home now is there. If you live long enough, perhaps I'll even bring in a screen so you can see what happens to your poor body outside. Datajacking into someone else's mind does leave the physical body so...vulnerable.

Cheery-o. Enjoy your stay in my humble abode. I'd say come again, but, well, it just doesn't feel appropriate.

Things I Wish I Could Buy

Yes, I do have disposable income. But at the end of the day I already have too much stuff, and I can save that spare money for other things. But, I can still dream about all that nice stuff out there that's available to buy. Here's a short list of practical things I wish I could just run out and buy.

• Keyboard. Yes, I could be considered a musician, just a terrible one.
• Sleeping bag. Gonna need one for the summer too, should get on that.
• Nice shirts/pants/coats/blazers. Wardrobe has slowly been updated over the years, but it still needs serious work.
• New shoes, especially work/dressy ones, and more than one pair for each occasion.
• New pots and pans. Especially a good set of stainless steel that doesn't keep getting stained. Probably need more storageware too.
• Set of knives and cooking equipment. I really shouldn't be using the curved cleaver for almost everything.
• Paintball equipment. 'Cause people keep going, and the rentals stink.
• A gun and set of swords. An assault rifle, a pistol, a katana, a broadsword, and a spear/naginata at the minimum to cover most contingencies. Also money to get training on how to use them properly.
• ALL THE GAMES
• ALL THE BOOKS
• Decorations for the house. Walls are pretty sparse. But why does accent lighting cost as much as normal lighting???
• New bike (probably fixing this one rather soon finally)
• A new used car. OK, we're dreaming, so a new new car.
• A house
• Happiness

You may notice many of these I probably should buy, and soon. But given my track record I'm sure I won't buy these until next year. Or until something breaks. Or I need it in a week and I have to 2-day ship the item from Amazon.com.

About Me: Dating Resume

A few of my friends were joking that everyone should have a dating resume. That way people can quickly identify potential mates based on accomplishments and interests. Obviously this is a faulty system because really you know if you're into someone when you interact with them, not based on a random set of qualifications. But still, in the interest of Singles' Awareness Day, here's a quick pre-beta draft of a theoretical satirical dating resume for me.

Trevin Murakami 

Occupation: Engineer at Intel
Age: Old enough.

Practical Skills: Jack-of-many-trades (i.e. completely useless at everything). Able to cook a variety of styles (America, Italian, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese). Maintains a clean and welcoming living environment. Can do own laundry and ironing. Knowledgeable about plumbing and handy with tools. Experienced with electronics of all sorts. Knows all Red Cross swimming strokes. Can drive manual cars.

Sorta Practical Skills: Able to sing. Can play piano and flute. Somewhat useful at dancing. Excellent knowledge of random things. Partial to dynamic speaking and stories of all sorts. Extremely flexible in terms of schedules and interests. Can easily identify and ignore tropes as they occur in real life. Can serve others food. Can tie a tie. Can sleep almost anywhere. Enjoys picking up new skills. Hates picking up girls. Unless it's picking them up in a car. Unless it's my poor broken down car.

Personality Traits: Whimsical. Practical. Frugal. Generous. Optimistic. Goal-focused. People-centric. Willing to die to self. Planner. Spontaneous. Reluctant Leader. Enjoys laughing and making others laugh. Humble. Praises others. Rolls with the punches. Selective of quality. Appreciates the little things. A bit of a romantic. Incredibly practical. Will never take the last portion of a dish (unless asked to, repeatedly).

Interests/Hobbies: Games of all sorts. Spending quality time with people. Cooking. Magic Tricks. Ultimate Frisbee. Snowboarding. Long walks. Biking. Martial Arts. Duct Tape construction. Music. Investments. Politics. Science. Religion. Jokes. Weaponry. Gems. Psychology. Anthropology. Group Dynamics. You.

Other: Non-smoker. Drinks socially. Doesn't snore. No major allergies. No pre-existing conditions.

Things I Learned from Gaming

and should totally apply to real life.

• There are a limited number of stats points you can ever have. Therefore, to be stronger in one area you must be weaker in another. The only way to break this zero-sum game is via loot or raw level ups.
• When all else fails, the nuclear option is a totally acceptable way to demolish the enemy. However, it may require running in a cloaked individual to manually paint the target.
• Red Wunz Go Fastar
• Child Services can warp through walls and take your children if you neglect them enough.
• Children are made via relaxing in your bed under the sheets and showering rose petals over it. And nearly every time you try you will succeed.
• You can meet, become friends, and even marry a person all in one day via talking. A lot of talking. And perhaps some hugging and kissing.
• The more I am promoted, the shorter my hours will become and the greater my weekly pay. That way I have more time and money for recreation.
• Keys are only good for one door.
• Cybernetic implants and upgrades are instantaneous to install or upgrade respectively.
• Use drugs and potions and hypodermic needles as much as you want, you won't become addicted to them. Except that one that increases concentration and relaxes your jitters so you can handle a sniper rifle better.
• If you try really, really hard, you can do anything. Including hurling lighting like William Shatner.
• I can hold a gun perfectly still and hit anything I put under the crosshairs of my sniper rifle.
• Picking up ammo off the ground makes it instantly available to load in full clips into my gun.
• Hiding and resting for a bit will heal me back to full health no matter how close to death I was.
• I can take multiple gunshot wounds, knife cuts, and explosive concussions and still fight at peak efficiency after a quick healing.
• All soldiers can pilot all vehicles.
• Shooting parked cars makes giant fireballs.
• The bigger the sword, the better.
• At the end of my life, I will either get the Mother Theresa ending or the Baby Eater ending.
• All civilization leaders can control on a year-by-year basis production goals and what lands the people work on a per-city basis.
• If I ever sell anything to a shop, I will have to buy it back at a higher price. Similarly if I ever buy anything, I have to sell it back at a lower price.
• All Private Military Companies are evil and will eventually secretly make a bid to take over the world.
• The prevailing religion is actually a front of an evil organization that is taking over the world.
• The current government is corrupt and secretly doing diabolical things such as taking over the world. Or they've taken it over already and you missed out.
• Germans are Nazis and Russian are Commies. And they want to kill you. Shoot on sight.
• Vampires are real. They're just hiding so they can slowly drain your blood.
• Similarly magic is real, but the Technocrats are locking them down.
• Libraries hold tomes of evil that when read will summon eldric horrors into this world. Never ever read a book.
• No matter how untrained you are, ludicrous the weapon, or protected the enemy is, you always have at least a 5% chance of landing a hit.
• I'm Batman.

The Teaching Reform Dilemma

Fact: Young meatbags must be trained up and schooled in order to be useful members serving the superior machine form.

Statement: Current schooling done by meatbags titled teachers.

Statement: In standard form of the position, teachers are given a position called "tenure" where they have no fear of losing their position except in extreme circumstances.

Corollary: Some teachers are thus able to slack off and perform poorly due to job security. Young meatbags suffer.

Corollary: Poor teachers arise, would like to remove.

Contradiction: These teachers cannot be fired for incompetence, only for extreme circumstances.

Corollary: Even in extreme circumstances the paperwork is immense and often not worth it.

Stipulation: Implement an accountability performance review to keep good teachers and remove inadequate ones.

Corollary: Use testing to determine performance of young meatbags to indicate success of teacher position.

Corollary: Testing will be important.

Corollary: Pressure for young meatbags to perform well on tests will increase.

Corollary: The meatbags in teacher positions may attempt to cheat the system.

Corollary: The meatbags will only use systems of teaching that are proven to create results on test.

Contradiction: Teaching programming will stagnate to test-driven schooling and not schooling for learning.

Stipulation: Use job protection to allow teachers to explore new teaching methods to fit students and promote learning.

Corollary: With good learning skills, young meatbags naturally do well on test.

Corollary: Use interim period to ensure teacher is high quality, then offer job protection.

Corollary: Use tenure.

ERROR: Potential infinite loop detected, continue exercise?

> No
> Mix

ERROR: Will still most likely be driven by the performance problems as overriding goal, even with temporary period of safety. Competition will begin to rise and eventually a full review even of period of safety from being processed into fuel -- I mean from being fired.

Query: Continue?

> No

Agreement: We should replace meatbag teachers with superior machines. Thank you master.

Query: Any meatbags need a laser bolt to the chest today?

Generation Gap: It's the Parents' Fault

Well, it's Thanksgiving break and nothing else to do except chill out and update my blog. That no one reads. But hey, I can handle that.


Today we're going to talk about the Generation Gap. It's the phenomenon that people claim occurs between generations where neither one understands the other.

We can blame it on several different factors. For starters, we can always blame society. The children of the younger generation are growing up in a completely different atmosphere than the older generation. Makes some sense. After all, your younger formative years influence you a lot. If you're bombarded every day with concepts and ideas of what is right and wrong, that has a huge influence on your life. And if these foundational ideas are different than what your parents were exposed to, then it's no wonder than their world views will be slightly different.

We can also blame it on the kids. After all, the older, wise generation were kids, and then grew up and matured and now know better. However, the naive little ones still don't get it and think they're the rulers of the world and these different views clash creating a rift. After all, what teenager isn't just a bit too cocky.


However, I posit a huge factor that overshadows all of these. It's the parents' fault. That's right, I just pinned it on those bastions of knowledge and maturity.

Let's think about this for a moment. As a very young child you idolize your parents. It is their house, they set all the rules, you never see them cry and they hold absolute power over you. In fact, they seem neigh incorruptible. They are the Alpha and Omega of your universe. However, slowly, we start to see the cracks along the edges. Finally, one day, we realize just how mortal the parents really are. They are flawed humans like us. Even worse, they have some serious problems, problems that we see that they don't seem to even recognize. Worse, we figure this out before they realize we know, so they think their wills are still dominating the landscape. In response, the children begin to wonder "why do they think themselves so high and mighty."

Thusly the cookie crumbles. Thoughts of rebellion creep into our minds. Subversion creeps into our habits. And since the parents stay blind, they don't know what's suddenly happened until it's too late and the rift is established with now way back.


Then there's the stubbornness of the old. Let's face it, they're really, really set in their ways. They refuse to change their behavior. They refuse to learn new technology. They think the olde way is best, and there's no way to get it through their heads that iPods are the coolest things ever and that texting is the communication of the future. Or that they should stop repeating themselves every five minutes to try and get a point across. Nope. Even worse when they are ridiculed, they know their idiosyncrasy, and then just shrug it off and say they're too old to change. Bull. No wonder you can't stay in contact with the younger ones if you can't keep up with the times and have to ask for help to add an attachment to your e-mail every single time you want to send one.


So yeah, it's all the older generation's fault.

Primer

According to Google Analytics, I have had 1 visit. And It was me checking the formatting of the blog. Woohoo!!!!

Anyways, this little post is a way to organize my thoughts. Here I am posting a bunch of labels that I am thinking I might use. So, if you're interested in what all these labels might mean, here are the explanations.

Categorization

• current event - let's face it, my life isn't all that interesting. I'm no Rex Morgan where everyday something new and exciting and probably deadly is happening, and trying to soap opera my life would be miserably painfully long in written form. Plus, the last three days of my life can be summarized as mostly eating, sleeping, and perusing internetz/gaming. HOWEVER, on the fun chance that awesome-ness occurs, this blog might see a post and this label shall be applied.
• op-ed - this will probably be the majority of the posts. Random opinions, observations, analysis, that kind of stuff. Think of it as potentially enlightening musings about the world around us.
• school/work - these should be obvious.

Extras

• internetz - should I include something from the internet that I find interesting, be it video, comic strip or etc., this label will be applied
• wall-o-text - this is applied to a post of extremely long length. So, it is either deeply detailed and insightful, or rambling. Considering the law that every person thinks of themselves more highly than they should, it's probably rambling.
• not super serious - I prefer to be a bit snarky and satirical. If something is written for the benefit of entertainment or in a particularly funky style, this label will be applied. If you try to quote me on something from a post labeled with this and try to argue that I'm wrong, I will shrug and ignore you.
• games - it could be game theory, or about an awesome game I've played recently, or a review, or complaining about game development and where the industry is going.... you get the idea. Other labels might appear pertaining to stuff like music or movies or (heaven forbid) POLITICKs as well.

I'm sure there will be more labels that will pop up in the future, but for now enjoy this little quick sampler.