Things I Wish I Could Buy

Yes, I do have disposable income. But at the end of the day I already have too much stuff, and I can save that spare money for other things. But, I can still dream about all that nice stuff out there that's available to buy. Here's a short list of practical things I wish I could just run out and buy.

• Keyboard. Yes, I could be considered a musician, just a terrible one.
• Sleeping bag. Gonna need one for the summer too, should get on that.
• Nice shirts/pants/coats/blazers. Wardrobe has slowly been updated over the years, but it still needs serious work.
• New shoes, especially work/dressy ones, and more than one pair for each occasion.
• New pots and pans. Especially a good set of stainless steel that doesn't keep getting stained. Probably need more storageware too.
• Set of knives and cooking equipment. I really shouldn't be using the curved cleaver for almost everything.
• Paintball equipment. 'Cause people keep going, and the rentals stink.
• A gun and set of swords. An assault rifle, a pistol, a katana, a broadsword, and a spear/naginata at the minimum to cover most contingencies. Also money to get training on how to use them properly.
• ALL THE GAMES
• ALL THE BOOKS
• Decorations for the house. Walls are pretty sparse. But why does accent lighting cost as much as normal lighting???
• New bike (probably fixing this one rather soon finally)
• A new used car. OK, we're dreaming, so a new new car.
• A house
• Happiness

You may notice many of these I probably should buy, and soon. But given my track record I'm sure I won't buy these until next year. Or until something breaks. Or I need it in a week and I have to 2-day ship the item from Amazon.com.

About Me: Dating Resume

A few of my friends were joking that everyone should have a dating resume. That way people can quickly identify potential mates based on accomplishments and interests. Obviously this is a faulty system because really you know if you're into someone when you interact with them, not based on a random set of qualifications. But still, in the interest of Singles' Awareness Day, here's a quick pre-beta draft of a theoretical satirical dating resume for me.

Trevin Murakami 

Occupation: Engineer at Intel
Age: Old enough.

Practical Skills: Jack-of-many-trades (i.e. completely useless at everything). Able to cook a variety of styles (America, Italian, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese). Maintains a clean and welcoming living environment. Can do own laundry and ironing. Knowledgeable about plumbing and handy with tools. Experienced with electronics of all sorts. Knows all Red Cross swimming strokes. Can drive manual cars.

Sorta Practical Skills: Able to sing. Can play piano and flute. Somewhat useful at dancing. Excellent knowledge of random things. Partial to dynamic speaking and stories of all sorts. Extremely flexible in terms of schedules and interests. Can easily identify and ignore tropes as they occur in real life. Can serve others food. Can tie a tie. Can sleep almost anywhere. Enjoys picking up new skills. Hates picking up girls. Unless it's picking them up in a car. Unless it's my poor broken down car.

Personality Traits: Whimsical. Practical. Frugal. Generous. Optimistic. Goal-focused. People-centric. Willing to die to self. Planner. Spontaneous. Reluctant Leader. Enjoys laughing and making others laugh. Humble. Praises others. Rolls with the punches. Selective of quality. Appreciates the little things. A bit of a romantic. Incredibly practical. Will never take the last portion of a dish (unless asked to, repeatedly).

Interests/Hobbies: Games of all sorts. Spending quality time with people. Cooking. Magic Tricks. Ultimate Frisbee. Snowboarding. Long walks. Biking. Martial Arts. Duct Tape construction. Music. Investments. Politics. Science. Religion. Jokes. Weaponry. Gems. Psychology. Anthropology. Group Dynamics. You.

Other: Non-smoker. Drinks socially. Doesn't snore. No major allergies. No pre-existing conditions.

About Me: Frugality

Many many years ago, when I lived in LA, it was common to have at least one trip a year to Disneyland. This could be through school or the church youth group, but as children we were set loose in the Happiest Place on Earth and expected to fend for ourselves (under the supervision of a non-parent adult). Since these trips took all day, we had to have a way of procuring nourishment, so my parents would give me $20 to cover the lunch and dinner. Sometimes this would be augmented with a packed lunch/snack of Spam Musubi.

Now, most of the other kids also got around $20. And they'd happily spend it all and a little of their saved allowance on little snacks and meals with sodas in the park. Some would be careful with their cash and keep any spare leftover money. I only spent around $10-$15 and gave the rest back to my parents.

Even as a young child I was extremely careful with money. It was a precious commodity, one that I got sparingly. I was instilled very early with the concept of saving. Doing the simple math calculations in grade school of Principle and Interest made me realize small amounts, if invested over time, could yield delayed gratification. Since all of my basic needs were taken care of, I saw no reason to splurge on much else and could save away the rest.

As I've grown older, a few things have changed. I know more about economics, inflation, returns on investments, and so on. But some things don't change. I continue to live frugally and minimize large purchases. Many people have heard me comment about how I really "need" a new car, or a keyboard, or a new bike. Some will raise an eyebrow and go "just run what you have into the ground." I will then respond that my car is 19 years old with original parts and a cracked CV boot that will seize any month now. Or that I've been riding the same undersized bike for over 6-7 years. When I say I "need" something, I'll end up "needing" it for a year before I finally get around to getting something new. Heck, my computer had at least 3 almost-failing parts. I moaned that I needed to replace it for almost a year. The only reason I got a new one was the old one finally broke and it wasn't worth it to find what broke out of the several parts I knew were already failing.

Even for the little things I check if there's a way to reduce expenses. When I lived alone I wouldn't run the heat except for a few minutes a day in the winter (I got tired of waking up in a 55F room), and didn't run the A/C lower than around 85 in the summer. Too cold? Just wear more layers! If I want, I can live off around $25 worth of groceries a week for all 3 meals, and I gain cooking skills to boot. I bike to work not just for a bit of exercise, but also to save just a touch on gas.

What do I do with all these savings? Obviously hoard it away like Scrooge!

Seriously though, I do save a lot away. Some into retirement accounts, other sums into safety nets, and still more for future investments like a house eventually. But most of all I save up so I can give it away. I have developed enough of a buffer I have no problems with getting the short end of the stick when it comes to a bill amongst friends. If someone is in need I can help bail them out. I support my local ministries and charities. It's really liberating to not have to check if I will be able to eat next month if I splurge on a donation. Because I know I save more than I need.

Obviously in my current state I'm a bit blessed with my job. But it wasn't long ago I was scraping things together on just a TA's salary in grad school. Without any spending I had at most $100 spare each month after bills. Oddly enough, I'm even more careful about some things now that I have a better source of income.

I'm frugal. I love money and managing it and watching my savings grow. But I don't live deprived, and I'm not a penny pincher who lives for more money. I save to protect myself, and to enable freedom when it comes to supporting and blessing others.


If you're interested in frugality, I recommend reading this blog. Guy retired at around 35 and is living a comfortable middle-class life since.

About Me: Self-Improvement

When you look around the dating scene, often times people will ask "what's your type?" Most will respond with a laundry list of parameters of their ideal mate, and specific red flags of people they won't mesh with at all. Then people will follow through with several stories about who would and wouldn't work, or that one time with the really bad date who wasn't up to snuff.

I do have a relatively small, lax list for my requirements (it's mildly tongue-in-cheek at the start), but that's not the point of this post. What I wanted to talk about here is turning those lists back on to yourself.

Many times behind closed doors people will complain about how silly those other people are. You know the ones. Those who think it's always everyone else's fault. It's their fault they didn't have the backbone to ask you out. Why is everyone around me such jerks? How could you be so stupid to miss that detail and ruin our whole project! I'm pretty sure you're one of these complainers. I know I often complain about everyone else. But how often do you look at yourself and wonder if it's your fault? That perhaps if you were a little different, perhaps if you explained things better, perhaps if you were more caring things could work out better?

This is the kind of evaluation I'm talking about. Here's a quick example.

I often play online games with some friends. We learned these games in college, and have since progressed to a modicum of competency. Since we play on the same team, we share the awesome victories and gripe about the defeats. I will say I am definitely the weakest player on our team at this point. And many times I end up being the weak link that loses us the game because I didn't play my character properly or I lost our lane or I didn't save our more important teammates when I was supposed to. But heck, I've been playing this game for over 6 years! I'm relatively competent! It was just that our opponents were too good! It's because they came and put so much pressure on us, there was nothing I could do! It's not all MY fault. Right?

Sounds nice. Maybe helps ease my ego and the fact I let down my team. But it's not the truth. The truth is most of the time I screw it up. And I continue to lag as the rest get better because I don't put in the time to learn from better players, to follow the latest trends in the game, and increase my skills.

As an aside: that's not to say my teammates should have free reign at pointing out every single instance I screwed up. After all, if it's my fault, I should get all the blame and every pointer to expose every time I messed it up so I can learn and do better next time. Right? Well, perhaps, but please do it with some compassion. I know in my head it's my fault already, no need to kick me while I'm down.


Let's bring it back to dating.

Everyone has their list of wants. But how many people evaluate how well they fit others' lists? Can you say that you're caring? That you're honest and trusting? Will to put the others' needs above your own? Are you interested in investing into their lives? Or are you just a giant vacuum of wants and needs and only interested in locking in a wonderful prize who will serve you and make your life complete? Do you measure up to your own list of credentials you want in your dating partner?

I'm not saying go out and remake yourself. Being someone you're not just to attract your imaginary perfect ideal person can make you miserable as you try to maintain the lie. Unless you do it enough it becomes who you are. But that's a whole other can of worms on whether people can change or not.

Anyways, I've rambled on enough here. Point being, don't be that person who just gripes about everyone else. Take a few moments every now and then and apply your list of positive and negatives to yourself and see how you stack up. And be honest. You know you're not perfect, I know I'm not perfect, so find some stuff to improve on and become a little bit more the person you want to be around.